I posted a blog last week called, “It’s in the Telling…” I’ve had lots of “telling” practice the past nine years of facilitating support groups. I’ve witnessed the power of being honest and vulnerable enough to share stories and confess secrets. Vulnerability is foundational for breaking the chains of addiction and healing soul wounds. Barriers are broken and unity is created between individuals from diverse backgrounds that may not have otherwise connected. Honesty begets honesty and it’s contagious in a safe group of accepting, compassionate people brought together because of struggle and pain.
In my previous post I used a beach metaphor, how the little grain of sand I am can join with the grain of sand you are, and we can build a whole beach. We can turn something that by itself would just be an irritant in our bathing suit into something beautiful and useful for all to enjoy.
I’ve been pondering some questions lately. I’m not asking just for the sake of myself and my friend group, but for the world’s sake. Maybe we can all ponder these questions, and all contribute to beach building.
Honesty begets honesty
What if we could be courageous enough to take the risk and start going beyond our safe, familiar groups in order to expand our beach? What if we could be like a magnet that joins people together for the sake of love, peace and unity? What if I took a step to try and you joined me?
Call me a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I can hear the song words playing in my mind now. There was once a man named Jesus who was a dreamer. He prayed for earth’s people before his death, that we would be one as he and his Father were one. He had a dream of unity for you and me. He prayed that we would know a love so strong, the dream would be reality.
Throughout our history, there have been many who dreamed of unity. They tried to raise our awareness and show us our need. While we’ve made a little headway, our progress is far less than what it needs to be. The evidence is seen in the rage, hate and fighting shown in the news each day. I don’t have answers as to how we can do an about face to change direction, but this I do know. It’s going to take the combined effort of individuals coming together around some commonality in order to build this beach.
The point of my last post was that honesty, authenticity and vulnerability were a step toward unity. Today, I’m taking a risky first step to do some honest telling and confessing beyond the safe support groups I facilitate. Riskier still, I’m doing it publicly.
I have a group of friends from high school. We affectionately call ourselves, “Ra-Ra Sisters.” I love these ladies, as well as the wild memories we share. They’ve been a network of support through decades and distance. Our contact has varied over the years, sometimes more, sometimes less, but we’ve tried to hold each other in transitions of joy, sorrow, victory and sadly, death. Our face-to-face gatherings have been few, however our connections have grown stronger. While we have things in common, we are all unique. We come from different backgrounds and have differing beliefs on many things, including politics. I recognize emotions run high and beliefs run deep when you even hint at this topic. Neither side understands how the other can believe the way they do. But somehow, I think we can all still be respectful and sensitive.
Honestly, the political thing has been difficult for me. I hate that I’ve seen disagreements over politics, religion and covid vaccines do so much harm. Is it possible for our group to remain united? Something so valuable as decades of long friendship… Can relationships stand with each of us being real and authentic, vulnerable enough to love and accept and still encourage and support one another despite our differences? It sounds simple, but can it be simple in practice?
My confession, I think I’ve been the quiet minority in our group. I’ve felt I had to stay silent and not cause a stir, which is my familiar pattern of being a peacekeeper rather than a peacemaker. Sometimes what is said stings. I don’t feel a need to even discuss differences of opinions, but neither do I want to hide. Being authentic has a voice.
I would hope true friends will remain true friends.
My hope is that relationships be secure enough that I can “come out” as one who believes differently.
I still want to share our victories, pain, joy and sorrow. My hope goes beyond the Ra Ra Sisters. My hope is that we be an example as we apply this in ever expanding circles. And of course, I intend to stand with, support and encourage all of you through life’s challenges.
Can we all try for the sake of friendships, families? For the sake of love? For the sake of the dreamers? For all of humanity? For the sake of Jesus’ prayer for us to know that powerful kind of love that can make us one? I hope so! I want that. We’re better together on that beach!
Real - One Day At A Time 