I hate to use the words, “I quit”, so today my word choice is “letting go”. There is a difference you know.
I believe that “quitting” happens when you physically, mentally or emotionally come to the end of yourself and you can no longer bare the discomfort or pain of whatever it is that’s just too much. There is no way you can possibly live with it, under it or bare it, not one more day, hour, not one more second. It may be a very real or a very false perception that brought you to that point. It may be that you’ve grown tired and worn. Regardless, you are at a place where you feel forced to utter the words, “I quit”.
On the other hand, we have “letting go”. Letting go of something is a choice. We let go, not because we are manipulated or coerced by an individual or forced by a situation. We’ve been able to set emotions aside and have taken a good hard look at the situation, evaluated its cost and benefits. We reach the decision to “let go”.
I’ve done a lot of deep thinking recently about many things. I’ve been in a season of introspection or navel gazing as some call it. Yes, there are times when we can be too caught up in this type of activity, especially if we’re the type that takes ourselves too seriously, but there are times when navel gazing is very necessary. This particular navel gazing season for me is because of an abuse class that I’ve been involved with. Navel gazing can bring healing. It can bring us to a better place, plus it’s always good to get the planks out of my own eyes rather than point out the splinters in the eyes of others. Navel gazing can help us find and know our true self. It helps us be authentic. Real.
Today, in an effort to be authentic to my true self, I make the conscious choice to “let go” of #NaBloPoMo, the National Blog Posting Month challenge. The NaBloPoMo challenge was to write a blog post every day for the entire month. While have absolutely no regrets for any of the posts that I’ve written over the last ten days, this past weekend writing wasn’t on my mind, yet I felt forced to write something because of the challenge. That’s not me. That’s not how I flow. Of course, while it’s part of our nature to imagine that the world revolves around us, I’m not so naive to think that there are people out there that can hardly wait to wake up in the morning so they can read all the golden nuggets I have to post. When I write, it is because I feel that I have something to say, something someone wants to hear, something that may help someone. It’s not being true to me or what this blog is all about to just post something for the sake of meeting a challenge. It’s not fair to you, either. You deserve better. So for that reason, I’m choosing to let go.
While I do love to write and writing is something that needs to be practiced like any other skill, for the sake of all of us, when I post it will be because I feel I have something worth saying. So, I’m sorry #NaBloPoMo. I have to let go. Don’t take it personally though. It’s not you, it’s me.