My Grown Up Christmas Gift

HopeIt’s with utmost respect and honor that I bring you today’s blog post.  I want to share one of the most valuable and precious Christmas gifts I have ever received.   It’s a poem written by one of my own.  My son gave me permission to share this with you today.  It wasn’t his intention to share this normally, very private, thing with the world, but it’s such a beautiful thing that, how can the world not get to experience it.  The back story to this, are years of addiction, many rehab programs, and several seasons of recovery followed by relapse.  Not that the journey is over, but this time feels different.  There is new life and hope that hasn’t been felt before.  I’m proud of my son and the positive steps that he is taking toward his new and wonderful future.  Together, we share this private moment in time today, not to exploit a man’s suffering, but to bring hope to other moms, dads, brothers, sisters and family members of addicts.  My son’s heart is much the same as mine, to help and love others.  Here is our gift to you.  May this season of hope live on in the New Year.  Merry Christmas!

 

For the Family

How can I even begin to express

About this time last year I was undoubtedly distraught, surely lost,

Senseless direction, heading nowhere, the trail had long since gone cold

Solid ground so ever elusive

The fear of death was becoming reality

I had abandoned all hope and lying to myself and everyone else in the process

Sick of pain and sobbing in a drunken stupor, I knew I couldn’t deny the truth

I was robbing myself of a life rich with meaning and warm hearted affairs

So I did what all good gangsters do and I called my parents, E.T. phone home

An answer, always an answer, as close as man can come, to divine love

They listened, always listened; I knew I had to get back to the desert

The place I once believed to be my problem, these people, these mountains, these

plastic possessions

Technology, pornography, dystrophy, all around me

But what I’m getting at ain’t so easily said, but seen out of your own two see’ers  instead

I got lost

The stupid story of the prodigal son haunts me like a rake does a garden gnome

And every time I was welcomed back, grace with a warm blanket of unconditional love

I am warm in my family’s arms

Fingers not so stiff and bleeding

I am charged with intense emotional uplift in the arms of my blood

Not so lethargic and glum, the fog lifts a little and I can finally breathe some

I am delighted to be born into such a solid rock of a household

Homesick and uprooted I am shaky and alone

I am blessed with a family who could never see me how I see myself

Distasteful, wasteful, hell in a bucket

The true meaning of the holidays is this

Family

I hope I’ve expressed in some way what I’m so desperately trying to say

I have the best family

From it stem the strongest roots

And I am so grateful and so floored to have made it back

If I’d had the choice to choose, I would have sold myself short

I am a man among angels

You see right through me

Thank you

 

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13 thoughts on “My Grown Up Christmas Gift

  1. Sue Bishop says:

    Oh sweet friend…..you are so very right.this present is coming wrapped up in a beautiful new red bow! I am praising the Lord with you and for you! What encouragement that will not only bring me, but so many others! Hugs for you! Mcuh love, sue

    • bspargo says:

      Thank you, Sue! There wasn’t a dry eye in the room Christmas day when this was read to us. It was a beautiful moment that I will never forget. Love you!

  2. Betty says:

    WOW!! I do hope and pray that he keeps moving forward. Just being there for him over and over sounds like it was the best thing to do. Your the best Bobbi!! Thanks for sharing!

    • bspargo says:

      Thank you Betty! Great progress has been made this past year. He’s taking some college classes now and got A’s in both! We are so proud of him. Hugs to you!

  3. pavlemilic says:

    NOW CRYING. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Pavle Milic says:

    Bobbi, thank you so much for sharing this. It swelled my heart. I wish and only the very best for all of you.
    Here’s to a great 2013!

  5. Nancy kasprzyk says:

    Wow Bobbie, beautifully written. Through tears, faith, and unending love comes JOY and new beginnings. Perfect timing as we start a new year.

    • bspargo says:

      Thank you Nancy! Yes, it is perfect timing. I’m thankful for mercy that is new every morning and great faithfulness that is available for all of us to have a chance at a new beginning each and every day! Happy New Year to you!

  6. Karen Powell says:

    Our boys have given us miraculous gifts through what at times have been our darkest hours. I have always believed Josiah would find his way because he is right , his spirit is rooted in great love. So grateful for this shiny beautiful moment in Christmas…we are rich indeed! One of my gifts is having your family in my life:)

    • bspargo says:

      Ahhhh! Thank you Karen! What you wrote was beautiful. I love the fact that darkness has to flee in the presence of light and love. As a result, we are rich indeed! Love and hugs to you!

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