Have you ever really thought about the word, “intimacy”? Ok, true confession here. Sex is first place my mind goes when I hear the word. My own insecurity is hoping that I’m not the only one who goes that direction first, but I think it’s a pretty safe bet that I’m not. While sex, when it is true lovemaking is the most beautiful form of intimacy, there is so much more to it and that’s where I’m going with it today.
When I started this blog, my purpose was to share life with others. I was hoping for a two sided conversation about life and all the things it throws our way, all the good, the bad and the ugly. I wasn’t looking for a debate or an argument. I was looking for a safe, honest place where those involved would be encouraged or comforted or just listened too, whatever we needed it to be for that given point in our day. In order to do that, I felt that I needed to go first. I had to open up the discussion, to be the first to take the risk to be intimate, to let you “in 2 see me”.
Think about the times you’ve sat and had a truly invigorating conversation with a friend. Your conversation had moved past the weather and how the family is. It wasn’t a one sided conversation. You had both gotten to share, equally and each had really listened to the other. You had a tangible connection at a deeper level. It was a true “heart to heart”! I love those rare occurrences with a friend. They are so satisfying, so life giving! It’s sad that they are so rare.
The truth is, they are rare because it’s rare to have a friend that is safe to have that kind of conversation with. It’s rare that we take the time to move past ourselves and our own junk to really listen to someone else. It’s rare that we let go of our judgmental, critical opinions and allow a person to feel safe with us. It’s rare that we see another’s worth when they may have idiosyncrasies that don’t resonate with us. It’s rare because we don’t see buried treasure in others. We say we value people, but when the rubber meets the road, when you are face to face with them, do we really?
I want more of those life giving conversations and I had hoped to find them in this blog. I guess I didn’t realize what a lonely place blog land could be. Was I asking too much to start a personal, intimate, online conversation with total strangers? The answer to that is a huge YES! After all, what you put online is out there for the world to see forever. I can see why it’s not such a safe place. I can see why the conversation is so one sided. So where do I go from here? No where! I’m going to push past the loneliness and the insecurity that comes from making myself vulnerable. I’m taking the risk to keep sharing. I just have to believe that maybe someone is listening and talking back, just in a way that the whole world won’t hear. I’m here to stay!